Why I do what I do

I wanted to title this post "If I gave a paper at a conference and no one was there to hear it, does it still count on my CV?" but that seemed a bit long.

I gave a paper at a conference on campus the other day. I was excited for two reasons: a) this was not a music conference and b) the conference took place about 100 yards from my office. I saw this as a bit of a challenge: can I communicate fairly sophisticated musical ideas to a non-musical audience? I also liked the money I saved by walking to the conference. I thought about getting a hotel room just to replicate the authentic conference experience, but ultimately decided against it.

Anyway, I'm generally not one to procrastinate writing papers, and I typically present the finished version to students and faculty here a week or two before the conference to get feedback. But this paper got away from me. My presentation was Thursday and as of Saturday, I only had three pages. I worked furiously all weekend and generated about twelve pages, which I then found far exceeded my allotted 20-minute time slot. So I worked on shaving it down, and shaving it down, and shaving it down. And I edited my PowerPoint show and kept trimming the musical examples--would 10 seconds of opera be enough to make my point? I was up until 11:30 on Wednesday night and finally called it quits. The paper was going to run about 23 minutes, but I simply couldn't cut any more.

I had ignored grading homework, winged a few lesson plans, put off responding to a bunch of e-mails, and strayed from other more mundane routines to devote every free minute this week to this paper.

On Thursday I stumbled into the room where I was to give my talk. I had made a point of requesting audio equipment, figuring that that would be a special request for a non-music conference. No audio hook-up at all. So I used a small pair of computer speakers that I had brought from my office. As long as everyone sat near the front of the room, I figured I'd be fine.

The session started at 1:00. Two of the four presenters did not show up. There were three people in the audience, the moderator, the other presenter, and four students he brought along to read a scene from a play. Not even ten people, and six of them had to be there.

I guess the bright side is that it was then rather informal and I didn't feel rushed. We had plenty of time for discussion and questions. I got what I wanted, which was some good feedback from non-music types about my work.

The point of this whole rant is that for the amount of time, energy, etc. that most of us put in to conference presentations, articles, and the like, what purpose does it serve if no one is there to hear it (or read it)? Is a line on the CV really worth that much work (and, occasionally, frustration)? I've been to several other conferences where this was the case. One conference was overseas and I was on the last session of the last day of the conference. The room had more than nine people in it, but most of them appeared to be there out of some sense of obligation and not interest. My paper was poorly received (looking back, it was far from my best work) and then I hopped back on the plane and went home, again, after putting considerable time, effort, and (in this case) money into the thing.

I certainly hope to get more mileage out of this paper: I have submitted it to a big music conference and ideally would like to get an article out of it. I guess you have to start somewhere...

Instrument families

Memorizing music